Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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