She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
