11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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