I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
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Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
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Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?