I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
