he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
why do cheetos always look like penises
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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