he puts the penis in happiness.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
