Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
