try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
