I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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