some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
