i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
