I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
