u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
