Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
