Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
