She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
