It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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