lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Randomize
