its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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