he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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