you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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