I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
