What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
