My hand turned me down
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Who died my cat blue again?
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