We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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