Buhtt sex?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
