lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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