and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
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where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
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second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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