nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
