dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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