I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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