I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
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