i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
