Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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