You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
