My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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