I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Randomize
