he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
