He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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