how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
