i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
