You're so nebulous sometimes
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
