Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
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Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
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So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana