the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
You did what with his pubic hair?
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