More tranny stories later!
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
