lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
