Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.