Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  So drunk, too bad you don't want this

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): So drunk, too bad you don't want this http://tfl.nu/0z98
  Replies (3) Good night (797) Bad night (963)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie http://tfl.nu/yzwd
  Replies (11) Good night (3165) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter. http://tfl.nu/461a
  Replies (32) Good night (1521) Bad night (2563)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority. http://tfl.nu/3oej
  Replies (18) Good night (5147) Bad night (1346)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet" http://tfl.nu/r96p
  Replies (3) Good night (2258) Bad night (826)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.

  (1-316): View more from Kansas

  Yeah I'm going to bathe him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong. (1-316): Yeah I'm going to bathe him. http://tfl.nu/s84m
  Replies (6) Good night (3816) Bad night (899)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures. http://tfl.nu/oo7z
  Replies (7) Good night (2265) Bad night (1164)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age. http://tfl.nu/xhom
  Replies (1) Good night (470) Bad night (764)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning

  (1-917): View more from New York City

  I love you more by the minute

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning (1-917): I love you more by the minute http://tfl.nu/4g8c
  Replies (6) Good night (1468) Bad night (352)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age. http://tfl.nu/6o7l
  Replies (3) Good night (816) Bad night (278)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  That does not seem like timing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is? (973): That does not seem like timing http://tfl.nu/n0dp
  Replies (3) Good night (492) Bad night (559)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it. http://tfl.nu/dtmi
  Replies (4) Good night (315) Bad night (589)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring. http://tfl.nu/gw6v
  Replies (22) Good night (1923) Bad night (308)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers http://tfl.nu/a1f6
  Replies (2) Good night (488) Bad night (238)
• Favorite

  (055): View more from

  Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (055): Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore http://tfl.nu/06vj
  Replies (5) Good night (524) Bad night (230)

Randomize