your room smells of hookers.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?