toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i think my mom watched the whole time
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
