I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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