OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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