Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?