I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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