So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
