Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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