if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
