I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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