butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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