now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
50% drunk capacity currently
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
