mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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