If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
