I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
The beers last night were like the tears from god
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
