have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
