my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
