I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
These tits shall not be calmed
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
