i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
