Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
